I have been very busy this summer. Between work & fitness instructor stuff, I'm very much a a human DOING rather than a human BEING right now.
This seems like it should be good thing, doesn't it? After all "idle hands are the devil's playthings." BUT what it really feels like is a distraction. Or like if I didn't give myself these external goals, I wouldn't accomplish anything at all. And I have to ask myself who would I be without them?
I've been here before. When we moved to Maui in 1995, almost everything I defined myself by got stripped away. It was the most terrifying thing I have ever done. But it gave me the space to figure out who I am once all that other stuff was gone. When I came back to the mainland and corporate world, it was much more on my terms instead of theirs. Now I'm a little afraid that the pendulum has swung back the other way. My husband is an excellent balance for me, as he works for himself. He keeps me from going off the deep end. However, only I can be me.
I am feeling a strong urge to reclaim my life. I have one more exam coming up in two weeks (STOTT Pilates Matwork) and then I can take a breath.
